Thursday, June 17, 2010

How We Got Here...Part 3 - Bringing this Blog up to Date

So in the interest time and catching up, such that we can update this blog in a more timely fashion, I’ll have to provide some abbreviated entries to get this blog current.

The second time my wife and her new lover met, they met at a restaurant for drinks. They met for nearly three hours and had no play time afterward. That was ok with me, but it was at this point this started to get a bit difficult for me. Details were few. Three hours and so few things to report? It was also after this meeting that communications between the two of them became more personal. They texted and emailed directly (as opposed to the social media based email we shared before.) Nothing that was too big a deal in and of itself, but when all combined, left me feeling that some things had changed and I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with it.

In any case, they made another date. A hotel date. I was a wreck the whole week preceding it. The actual night was awful for me. It wasn’t any fun. I just wanted my wife home with me. To make a long story short, when she returned home and in the days following that, I had a lot of feelings to work through. We also had some communication issues to address. I hadn’t realized the intensity of the emotion roller coaster this would be. The key issues (as identified so far) are communication and the sense that wife and I are truly doing this together.

For example, the personal emails and texts were requested from my wife. She loves the attention and the occasional email to both of us wasn’t cutting it for her. She wanted something a bit more frequent and something to make feel…desired. This is where the communication comes in. Now, I always thought my wife and I were pretty good communicators, but that doesn’t cut it. To test these waters, you need great communication. We identified that and things are much better.

The other big issue is the sense that she and I are doing this together. When the texts and emails started, my wife did always share them with me, but sometimes it was after the fact. This made me feel as though it was no longer something we did because it was exciting for us, but rather something she did because it was exciting for her and I was kind of left out. It really played with my head. Going forward, she agreed to share the texting and emailing with me and to meet him.

I didn’t think I could continue this lifestyle, but these conversations with my wife were really open and great. I figured deep inside that these issues were addressable and we could fix most of them and we have made good progress. Next, I get to meet the guy and we’ll see where it goes…


In the days leading up to meeting him, I had to share the thoughts I was having with my wife. I fantasized about meeting him and, assuming things went well, we invite him back to our home where he and she could play in our guest bedroom. I would wait for her in our bedroom. She loved the idea.

When we met and had drinks, things did go well and he came back to our house. The two of them played in the guest bedroom and I waited for her in the master bedroom. Unfortunately, I had no fun whatsoever waiting for her. It was a grueling wait. It wasn’t as bad as the previous date they had, having her closer was better. But I still wasn’t having any fun, and that’s was this is all about…everyone having a fun time.

So, over the next several days, I told my wife about my feelings (there were other ones as well, but they were relatively minor ones which were worked out with our improved communication). It really boils down to a lot of buildup and sexual excitement and when the time for everything to come to a climax, I’m alone in a room. That just sucks.

So, my wife and I have been discussing options and agreed to have dinner with him again to see how he felt about different options…


We met with him again a few days ago and we talked about how I really needed more involvement. It actually went really well. He seems open to anything from me watching to having a threesome. My wife was kind of amazed. She’s very tempted, but isn’t sure she could handle that…yet. The evening ended well and we’ll likely get together again next week. What will happen…who knows.

One thing about my wife is that she isn’t sure what to expect. She asked that I write her a story describing how I saw things happening. I wrote it, and she loved it! But actually doing it would be a big step for her.

Also, the “texting together” thing is going well too. The other night, she was feeling flirty and wanted to text him. I agreed and even helped give her ideas on hot things to write. It made it hotter for her and I felt included (it was hot for me too)…good stuff…we’re all having fun. Hopefully, these positive trends will continue next week...


  1. I think I could handle my wife being in another room for say, half an hour as I wait for her and a lover to have some alone time, but that would be about it. I used to enjoy the idea of waiting at home while she went out too, but that would get old if it was more than a rare occurrence.

    If work situations allow, the most erotic thing (assuming the wife and the lover want alone time)is to have them meet while I am at work. There is work to be done, meetings to attend, reports to write, yet you know any minute the phone could ring and the wife will say "he is here, now." When you arrive home from work, he is gone and she is all yours.

  2. Yeah my hubby doesnt know so I am simply cheating...or at least the one time I actually went through with a date. See (This post). Even though he has hinted in the hot wife direction im don't see him handling it well. I wish you two the best.

  3. Congrats on the first experience!

    Where are you two located?

  4. WOW what a great blog! I just found you and can't wait to keep reading. It's great to know there are others out there like us. I must show it to my hubby!!!

  5. The Alpha female, beta male match is a real turn on! But how do you ever keep it together in the long run?